I have a newsflash for you…being a mom is hard. No really, it is. It is wonderful. But it is really hard. Madi is a super easy going baby. She doesn’t cry unless she really needs something, she is a good sleeper, she likes to be in her carrier which allows me to get stuff done, etc. But it is still hard. This week has been especially hard.
Last Friday night, I woke up in the middle of the night in horrible pain. My whole right side of my face/head hurt. And it wasnt just a dull ache…it was sharp, intense pain. It very nearly brought me to tears. After talking things over with my mom, I decided that the best thing would be to go to the hospital. Well, when you are a mom, it’s not so simple. I had to get Madi up and load her into the car to go the hospital with me. Luckily, she was so good the entire time we were in the ER. Unfortunately, she stayed up pretty much the entire time we were there. From 2 in the morning until 5am, she was smiling and playing and happy. Well, it turns out that I had pinkeye and an ear infection. So after a shot in the hip, some antibiotics, and some prescriptions, we headed home.
**Side note…the emergency room is not a great place for a baby in the middle of the night on a Friday night. I didn’t feel real comfortable with the clearly unstable woman singing “mockingbird” to Madi, etc. But what can you do??
Anyway, it is hard to be a Mom when you are sick. Just because you want to lay in bed and sleep doesn’t mean that you can. Madi still needed to be fed, held, rocked, played with, taken care of. Without kids, you can just crawl in your bed until you feel better…not so much with a little one in the house. My mom, sister, and Madi’s dad helped out where they could, but there are still things that only a mom can do.
**Side note number 2: The male nurse who told me that I need to avoid snuggling with Madi for 7 days clearly was not a parent. How exactly am I supposed to avoid snuggling a 4 month old for a week? She is breastfed, she gets rocked to sleep, etc. Not to mention babies just have times that they need to be held…I washed my hands until they practically bled, but I still held my little girl whenever she wanted to be held. One time she grabbed my eye and you would have thought she has just touched hazardous waste…I held her hand out away from her body until I wiped her with a baby wipe and washed her hand with soap and used hand sanitizer on her. lol.
Anyway, by Monday evening I was feeling much better. Madi hadnt caught anything and it seemed that things were getting back to normal. WELL….Thursday afternoon after her nap, Madi suddenly had the goopiest, nastiest eyes.
Just when I thought she was in the clear…Bam! Pink eye. Crap. I called up her doctor and made an appointment for the following morning. Turns out, Madi had pink eye in both eyes, an ear infection, and an upper respiratory infection. Poor little girl. So, she got some drops for her eyes and an antibiotic for her ear infection.
For as sick as she is, Madi really has been in a good mood. But it is hard to have a sick baby. She has been waking up about every hour and a half at night….which means I have only been getting about an hour of sleep at a time. I am pooped. Plus, she refuses to nap unless I hold her while she is napping. I love cuddling with Madi. But, without a nap time, I am finding it really hard to get things done. It’s hard to get a shower let alone clean the house, do lanudry, etc. Not to mention, it is hard to see your little one in such obvious pain. And this may seem silly but when Madi is sick or fighting off a sickness, she poops. A lot. And it stinks. It seriously feels like I have been cleaning up poop nonstop for the last week. Madi has been going through 2-3 outfits every day. It is silly, but sometimes you get sick of changing dirty diapers.
I don’t mean to complain. I love my little girl more than life itself. But, it isn’t realistic to always just write about all the fun, awesome stuff. The stuff that makes you laugh. The stuff that warms your heart. Sometimes you have to just get real and admit that being a mom is hard.
I really don’t understand how people who have no support do it. I have had a lot of help. My mom helps, my sister helps, Madi’s dad helps. I am extremely grateful for their help. But it is still hard. It is totally worth it. But it is hard. So, that’s me…being real. 🙂
To end this blog on a happy note, Madi is starting to feel much better today. She has been talking to herself in the mirror on her exersaucer, smiling a lot…and just woke up from a nice nap….in my arms of course. (I did try to lay her down twice and each time she woke up within 5 minutes) So I am extremely hopeful that she will be back to her normal self in the next day or so.