I used to be a runner

Do you have any idea how many times I have said “I used to be a runner” or “I used to run” in the last couple of years? A lot.  I also used to be skinny, wear bikinis, miniskirts, and tight t-shirts.  Well, I finally got rid of all those bikinis and miniskirts.  That’s something I will never do again…but…


Today I ran my first 5k.  It was great.  I can honestly say that I am proud of myself.  I made the decision to run this race right after Madi was born.  And yesterday, I almost backed out.  You see, I slept for maybe an hour Friday night as my daughter had a double ear infection.  I took her to the doctor yesterday and thought maybe I shouldn’t do this race tomorrow.  I mean, I am tired.  Madi gets clingy when she is sick. It isn’t fair to me or her for me to leave her. 

Please.  Really?  She couldn’t be left for less than an hour?  That wasn’t it…I was scared.  Scared I would fail.  I know that sounds stupid.  It is just a 5k.  Anyone can run a 5k.  Well, I wasn’t so sure.  My training has been inconsistent at best.  I didn’t want to look stupid.

Well, at packet pick-up yesterday, I still hadn’t made up my mind.  But at some point I decided that no matter how fast/slow I run, it was the most important that I just do it. So I did.

Today, almost exactly a year to the day that I began 4 months of bed rest while pregnant with Madi, I ran my first 5k.  And I was slow…and I was tired…but I did it. 

Last night while I was up with Madi, I read the following things…

It doesn’t matter if you finish last. You have the courage to start.

Run if you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must. Just never give up.

And that’s what it’s all about isn’t it?

And guess what? I loved it.  There is just something to be said for running with a ton of people.  At one point, I looked ahead of me and just saw this sea of people.  And I looked behind me and it was another sea of people.  I don’t know, it was just the coolest thing.

My next race is in 4 weeks.  I know myself well enough to know that if I don’t have another goal in mind, I will lose this motivation as fast as it came on.  But I want to be a mom that runs. And a mom that has all the energy in the world to play tag, and ride bikes, and jump rope, and skip and any other crazy thing Madi decides to do.

So…I may never wear a bikini again.  I also hope to never say the words “I used to be a runner” again.  Because gosh darn it…I AM a runner.

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